The Opposite of Normal

Strange thoughts from the inner workings of my mind, fortified with 200% of the USDA recommended daily value of snark.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Embassy Suites

If you're wondering why I haven't been updating my blog recently, it's because I haven't been in the state. As in, I went to Arizona on Sunday, and didn't get back until Friday. And I normally don't update my blog on the weekends (although maybe I should start). I'll post more about my trip to Arizona tomorrow or Tuesday, but I just discovered something really weird and I had to share.

During my 5 night trip, I stayed in the Embassy Suites. I don't think I've ever stayed in a suite before, but I'll put it like this: I would have named them the "Embassy Sweets!" because they were sweet! The rooms were actually two rooms: a front room with a table, couch, chair, TV, coffee maker, microwave, etc... and a back room with a large queen sized bed, closet, table, TV, etc... And, of course, a bathroom. Anyway, in addition to taking all my clothes to Arizona, I took a night-kit full of bathroom stuff -- my hair brush, toothbrush and toothpaste, extra contact lenses in case I accidentally destroyed mine, etc... Amongst other things, I took my nasal spray (which I mentioned in a previous entry about how I am addicted to my nasal spray), and some Flonase, which is a steroidal nasal spray that my nose doc prescribed to try and get my unaddicted to my other nasal spray. In the dry Arizona air, I didn't need my bad nasal spray, which was great, so I just used the Flonase every morning and slept great at night (with the help of some codine -- my next blog entry is going to be about how much I love codine).

In any case, Sunday morning, I packed up all my stuff, including everything in the bathroom. Checked it once. Checked it twice. Made sure I took everything I saw.

Then I got home. Unpacked everything. Friday night, I slept like crap because I'm back in California and apparently that means I need my bad nasal spray or I suffocate at night and I didn't use it. So Saturday night, I went in search of it. Looked in my night kit, and it wasn't there. I hadn't unpacked it. Wasn't anywhere else either. I suppose it's possible I left it in Arizona, but I kind of doubt it... Fortunately I had a backup bottle, so no biggie.

Tonight, I realized that I haven't been using my Flonase either (these things are very out of sight, out of mind with me). So I went in search of it. Looked in my night kit, and it wasn't there. I hadn't unpacked it. Wasn't anywhere else either. NOTICE A PATTERN HERE? I seriously doubt I left that in Arizona either -- especially since I didn't even keep it in the bathroom with my bad nasal spray. I kept it on the desk so I'd see it when I grabbed my wallet.

In other words, I think a maid from the Embassy Suites stole my nasal sprays. BOTH OF THEM! Three thoughts come to mind:
1) What the fuck?
2) Why?
3) Eeeew! I STUCK THOSE THINGS UP MY NOSE!!!

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